I have been surrounded by so much love, it's overwhelmed the absolute shit out of me. I have never felt I was deserving of something like this from one person-- let alone two people I deeply care about!
I want to run away from it. I want to be away. Not because I don't want it... I do! I am just so... scared. What if I fuck this up? I feel like being and making an active conscious decisions for myself is horrifying. What about the free spirited life I wanted to live? Who cares about what happens?
I don't think I've fully allowed myself to sit with my emotions. I love Chrys. I love Kanz. I want to do everything I can in my power to make sure that they know that. Not only know it, but feel it, too.
I think that's really all I have to say. Yeah. Maybe I'll see Kanz later, maybe I won't.
(I hope I do.)