I am so grateful for the people in my life. I write a lot about Kanz, but Chrys everyday reminds me how lucky and fortunate I am to have a partner like him.
The other night, I pulled a (tarot) spread for myself and almost sent myself into a tizzy. It was a pull in reagrd to my relationship with Kanz, Chrys, and myself. I pulled the Ten of Swords for Kanz, the Two of Swords for Chrys, and the Six of Wands for myself.
All I could think was Fuck. It's over. Ten of Swords? That's the end. Literally the death and end of this relationship. Cool cool cool.". I crashed out to Christian while we were in bed. He was so gentle with me.
"May I offer an alternative view-- if that's okay?"
Of course it's okay. I love you.
"I don't think it's necessarily the death of any relationships, but maybe the death of how we-- you -- view monogamous relationships. Things have crumbled and our entire worldview has just been shifted. Since you've begun dating Kanz, we've had to adjust and restructure so much of how we view relationships. We can't keep living in old habits."
It makes sense. I am so fortunate to have someone like Chrys. I felt so much better when he offered me that alternate view. God, I love him.