We talked last night. I spent the night. It was scary-- to open up. To be vulnerable with someone new. It was easy to be vulnerable with Chrys, I mean we've known each other for years. Well, even over a decade. So it almost felt natural, to switch between my friend hat and my partner hat with Chrys. But with someone new, like Kanz, we went straight into a sort of romantic relationship. So, to open up to a new partner right away, is scary.
Do it scared. I need to remind myself. Do it scared. Even if you shake in your voice. Even if your fingers quiver. Even if you feel your knees buckle. Do it scared.
It was well received. At least, I think it was. I know it was. We slept together. Yes, like sex, but also just wrapped up in each other. He kept consoling me. He held my face in his hands, so tenderly, so full of care. I think this was so scary. But it was scary in a way that I was afraid of being rejected. I just poured out my whole heart to this person. It was scary. To be vulnerable. I want to do it more-- with him and other people. Being vulnerable with other folks. It's what I want to do.
Yeah.
I think I can do that.
Be vulnerable with people.
And through it all,
Do it scared.