It's hard for me to sit down and think about our breakup. While it's been about a month and a half since it's ended, I have done a lot of work and healing on myself during this time.
A couple of nights before the breakup, a Thursday evening, Kanz had asked me to reschedule him coming over on Friday night because his friend was only available that night and he really wanted to see them. I agreed and we rescheduled for him to come over on Saturday. Later that same evening, I dropped off some dinner to him and asked him about who he was going to see. He didn't disclose to much information about them other than that they were a teacher and had papers to grade, hence the raincheck. He didn't seem like he wanted to expand on it, so I left it alone.
I visited him at work the next day, Friday. He spoke to me about how he had a bad dream about me, where he was exhibiting abusive behaviors toward me and violence toward Chrys. He was led to believe that it was his psyche telling him not to hide anything from me anymore. He then told me about how he was going to be going on a date with someone that evening, hence the raincheck. He assured me that the relationship we had was all he really had the capacity for between school and work, but just liked to go out on dates to "keep things fresh". I didn't mind at all, and was actually very excited for him.
The night we broke up, he spoke about meeting with his date and the synchronicity he experienced with her. There was so much excitment in his eyes, and I was grateful to
I've never felt like my problems are worth talking about. They've always been a nuisance to me. Get it over with. Move onto more important issues
But, they are important.
Chrys said I should write out things about myself that I like. I'll start there. Things I'm proud of.
I am pretty attractive!
I'm funny to chat with
I'm a good listener
I'm GREAT at sex. Maybe more fun than great
I have a unique voice
I'm a hard worker
I need a better way to do this. Diagram incoming.
diagram pending